I AM........

It has been SO VERY LONG since I have been here or anywhere in bloggy land. I have missed being here. Finding time to sit and write and most especially to sit and read has been difficult. The last few days God placed many of you on my heart, so I decided to take some time today to write. I have missed reading your blogs, your sweet words of encouragement, your funny stories, and your insightful comments.

What is on my heart today is CHRIST...mainly because I find myself in a place where I need to lean on Him...where I need to KNOW He is REAL, and He is HERE, and He is ENOUGH. God in His faithfulnees took me to WHO Christ is....more specifically WHO Christ SAYS He is. I thought I would share these Truths with you today.

I AM the BREAD OF LIFE

I AM the LIGHT OF THE WORLD

I AM the DOOR

I AM the GOOD SHEPHERD

I AM the RESURRECTION AND THE LIFE

I AM the WAY, AND THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE

I AM the VINE

I AM...I AM

More, more, LORD, I am hungry for more of Who You are. Tell me more....

I AM the LAMB OF GOD

I AM the SON OF GOD

I AM the MESSIAH

I AM the KING OF ISRAEL

I AM the KING OF KINGS

I AM the LORD OF LORDS

I AM your PORTION

I AM your STRENGTH

I AM LIVING WATER

Oh, how I need to hear these words today. How about you? To know that no matter what lies in front of me, HE IS ENOUGH!! HE WILL PROVIDE!!

Heavenly Father, thank You that You are my ALL IN ALL, THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART AND MY PORTION FOREVER. I confess to You that I don't always come to You first...I worry and fret. I fear. I lie awake at night. Then I sense Your sweet Presence, Your Peace. You remind me that You are TRUTH. You are ALL AUTHORITY. You are LIFE. You are in CONTROL. You LOVE ME!!! Father, give me a heart that trusts You, that believes You for all things...even those hard things I questions and do not understand. Make my heart tender to hear Your voice, to receive Your Peace in its fullness!! Help my unbelief. Show me Your Might and Your Power in the midst of my circumstances. Reach down and touch me in a very real way so I KNOW You are here. I love You, Lord. Thank You for loving me and caring about even the very hairs on my head. I wait for You in this dry and weary land...fill me with Your LIVING WATER, feed me with Your BREAD OF LIFE. I ask this in Jesus' Name. Amen

Words are not enough.....

My heart is so full after reading your comments and e-mails in response to my Proverbs 31 Devotion and my November 4th blog post. I want to share how God used you to answer the "Cry of My Heart!!" Last Tuesday I went to work with a heavy heart...so heavy, my sweet friend and P31 sister, Wendy Pope, asked if everything was alright. Of course, at first I told her yes, that I was simply tired. I did not want to burden anyone with all that filled my heart. This saga of Lauren's back has gone on for years, and I felt that there were so many greater hurts than mine that needed prayer and attention.

As the hours passed, my heart grew heavier and heavier, my tears flowed easier and easier until finally it was time to leave, and I could not hold it in any more. I walked over to Wendy's desk and poured out my heart. She talked for a bit and then grabbed my hand and began to pray. Knowing my devotional was scheduled to be published the very next day, she prayed and asked the Lord to provide for my every need through the words of women who responded to the devotional.

I awakened the next morning having no idea how powerfully God would answer that prayer. He answered it in accordance with the promise in His Word - He did abundantly more than Wendy and I could have ever asked or imagined as we prayed.

Your posts and e-mails fed my thirsty soul...each one in its own way. Some provided rich Scriptures and Promises from God. Others shared scoliosis surgery stories that gave me great hope and confirmed the decisions we have made on this journey. Others shared personal stories of Hope and God's provision in your lives. How I wish I could spend time with each of you and hear your whole story!!!

Thank you for stopping in the midst of your busy days to allow God to use you to speak into our lives. Lauren's surgery is scheduled for the morning of December 28th, and I plan to to take every Scripture shared and put it in a journal that I will keep with us at the hospital. I will have your words and stories with me to remind me that you are praying.

Never before have I been so touched by God in such a real and personal way. Thank you for showering our family with your love and prayers!!! Thank you for living out 2Corinthians Chapter One...

All praise to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our trouble so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Although I can never repay all you have given me, I would like to give away three books as a small way to say "thank you." One is a devotional, one is the One Year Chronological Bible, and one is my book, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner. If you find your name below, please contact me at spkrcoord@proverbs31.org and send me your mailing address so I can send you your gift.

Catherine who sent an e-mail

Julie who posted 11/4/09 at 11:06 am

Anonymous who posted on 11/4/09 at 11:40 a.m.


With heartfelt love and gratitude,

The Cry of My Heart

Welcome Encouragement for Today Readers. I prayed for each and every woman God would lead here today. How I wish I could know you by name and personally thank you for stopping by.

I desire to hear your stories, your wisdom, your encouragement, and what God has on your heart after reading today's devotional. If you have a moment, please click on the word comments below and follow the prompts. If you don't have a blog, you can post by clicking anonymous and leave your name in your comment if you'd like. Your words will mean more to me than you will ever know! To say thank you, I will select a few names and give away a few books that have encouraged me through my journey.

As soon as Lauren was born, and the doctor proclaimed, "it's a girl," I was thrilled!! I wanted a girl so much. As I looked into her big brown eyes, a myriad of questions flooded my mind.

What will she look like?

What will her personality be like?

Will she look more like her Dad or more like me?

Will she love chocolate like me?

Will I be a good mother?

Will I be able to provide all she needs?

I was scared. What did I know about being a mother?

Through the years, I have watched Lauren, now 16, blossom into an amazing young woman. Every birthday revealing the answers to my questions. She still has those big brown eyes and to that God added an infectious smile that lights up a room. She is timely, loves Mexican food, and enjoys anything chocolate like her mother. She laughs at herself, enjoys people, and loves music like her father. Through the years, God granted me the tools and wisdom necessary to provide for her at each stage of her life.

Today, my heart returns to those places of fear, questioning, and doubt that I had the very first day I held her. Knowing doctors will carve open my sweet girl's back from the nape of her neck to the curve of her hips, I find myself wondering again - how can I ever provide all she needs? From where will the strength come to watch them take her into surgery on December 28th? From where will the strength come to wait for hours as they surgically insert rods and screws into spine? From where will the strength come to watch her endure days of excruciating pain and suffering?

When I allow my mind to travel to these places, tears flow unceasingly. My sleep is restless. I awaken asking my Lord "why?" Why does she have to deal with so much at the tender age of 16?

My rational side reasons it could be worse...so much worse. Many mothers have children battling cancer and chronic illnesses that eventually steal away their babies. I have walked alongside of, cried with, and prayed for many of these mothers. Rational thoughts prevail...Lauren will recover; she will be strong and healthy again. This is just a blip on the screen.

But then my reality, the reality of my emotions, of my fears, forces its way back in. I want to believe. I want to trust. But the "whys" and the "what ifs" take control.

I hear in my head.

Wendy, you are a Bible Teacher.

Your calling is to share the Hope of the cross, the Truth of the Word, and the power of prayer.

Your calling is to encourage women to trust and believe God and His Word for all their needs.

Oh, how I KNOW these truths. Yet, today, I find myself the one needing words of Hope and encouragement. I find myself being the one crying out, "I believe, Lord, help me with my unbelief!"

Today, I am thankful for you...my Bible Study girlfriends, my Proverbs 31 sisters (thank you Wendy Pope for praying me through yesterday), the precious women God brings into my life after every speaking engagement, and my amazing cyberspace bloggy friends who bless me daily with your visits and your posts. Every one of you is a gift from the Lord.

Today, I have prayed for stories and fresh words of encouragement from Scripture to remind all of us of the LOVE, FAITHFULNESS, AND GREATNESS of our God. As you share, please don't forget to leave your name and a way to contact you for the giveaway. If you cannot get into the blog to comment, please feel free to e-mail me at spkrcoord@proverbs31.org.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ overflow into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5.
Blessings,